The day when I was told, that I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. I was calm as if I had seen it coming. My husband reacted the way any spouse would, a state of complete shock and utterly speechless. My family and friends cried over the news and they were really worried for me ever since. When I was alone, tears would roll down my cheeks but each drop of my tear made me strong because I am reminded of my family who stood beside me like a strong and sturdy beam, supporting my journey in battling the disease.
I knew the adverse effect of chemotherapy and yet nothing could really prepare me from experiencing things like shaving my head bald, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, sleepless nights, depression, black nails, once shining soft skin turned pale and lifeless, and my taste buds lost the ability to taste food too.
It made me weak and my immune system was low. As per doctors’ advice, I was quarantined for 3 months to avoid any possible infections from outside.
In a way, you could say that the nature of being quarantined due to my sickness or due to Covid-19 can be similar, except for the fact that my loved ones and I were initially suffering through such predicament. But due to the unwavering love and support I got from my husband, my children, all my family members, close friends and my doctor, it made me strong and always focus on the positive side of things to move on. Every day has its darkest night, so does sunrise. So I chose to look forward to see the sunrise every next day to renew my will to live my life to the best.
Now that I am a cancer survivor and going through the MCO/Covid-19 period, just the same like everyone, I would say that the emotional turmoils are the ones that truly affect us. In this turbulent moment, what we all need the most is love and support from our loved ones. Believe me, back then I suffered from the indescribable physical pain during the cancer period and it was when I can count on somebody to appeal to my emotional needs, made the journey through life much more pleasant. In other words, it is the ‘we’ who makes me stronger.
I would constantly tell myself that, “it’s all in the mind”. Thinking back, It wasn’t always as easy to think and be positive while enduring the morbid thoughts of my degenerating condition but one must always have a fighting spirit. I released all my negative thoughts by dancing away and only focus on beautiful thoughts. Meditation and yoga have helped me to stay calm and focused, while allowing my mind and body to be charged with positive energy. By staying positive and channeling all my energy towards recovery, I survived. The MCO will surely come to an end. Practise gratitude, cherish your loved ones and stay strong. We shall overcome this pandemic!
HAPA WOW Ambassador of Courage